5 Ways To Improve Your Relationship

Any relationship is going to go through its rocky times. It’s inevitable. Granted, these rough times should happen far less than the great times but you have to be ready with a way to handle these bumps in the road. These trying times are healthy for a relationship, but what’s more important is you how handle them. It’s a two-way street, but you have to be ready to meet your partner halfway. Consider these tips to follow when you do encounter your next rough patch:

1. Switch things up. If you’re in a relationship where you two are soul mates and can predict each other’s next move then do something out of character. It’s easy to fall into a rut where the mystery is taken out of the relationship. Do something unpredictable and you’ll bring back the excitement you felt when you were just starting out.
2. Communicate. This is a no-brainer, right? Everybody doesn’t talk about issues the same way as the next person. It’s important you realize this and don’t let it upset you if your partner doesn’t talk about problems as easily as you might. All you can do is encourage them to talk and let nature take its course.
3. Tolerance goes a long way. Everyone has their shortcomings and it’s not right to try to change every little thing that annoys you. If your boyfriend gets fired up watching a sporting event and screams at the television, then recognize that he’s a passionate man. Look at the bright side of some behaviors that you initially dislike.
4. Make time for just the two of you. Technology has infiltrated our lives in almost every facet. In most respects it’s a good thing, but if it has started cutting into your intimate times then you have to start setting rules. If you send a text message you almost become paralyzed waiting for the reply message. Set up a time when technology is off-limits. This may sound rigid, but it’s important that your intimacy isn’t forsaken.
5. Return to the days of courtship. This goes back to the first tip, but it’s important that you do the things that made you fall in love in the first place. Dinner and a movie are fine sometimes but go on real dates as if you were still courting each other. This will make your partner know that you know them and what they want. Go to the art museum that you used to frequent or the lake with the beautiful view that you used to take long strolls around. Don’t forget what got you to this wonderful place.

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This post was contributed by Heather Johnson, who is an industry critic on the subject of best date sites. She invites your feedback at heatherjohnson2323@gmail.com.

Welcome to Nerds Do It Better 57 Reasons You’re Not Getting Laid (And How to Fix It)

April 25th, 2008

How to Love Better (50 Surprising Tips)

By Heather Johnson

Love is work, sometimes a lot of work. But finding and knowing love is worth the effort. Sometimes it’s necessary to evaluate where you stand in your relationship so that you can determine what can be done to make it better. Here are 50 tips and ideas to help you become better at loving.

COMMUNICATIONS

1. Listen. Show your partner that you’re engaged by actively listening. Reaffirm what your partner is saying by summarizing what you have heard.
2. Talk. One way conversation is not effective communication. In order to show that you are invested in the relationship, be willing to give of yourself emotionally and mentally, by sharing your thoughts and needs.
3. Tough it out. During uncomfortable or difficult conversations, tough it out. Regardless of the topic or how much you hate talking about it, finish the discussion. If the problem is not resolved, it will fester in other areas of your relationship.
4. Argue Effectively. Two intelligent individuals cannot agree on everything, all the time, no matter how compatible they may be. Sooner or later there will be something that leads to an argument or a difference of opinion. This should not be viewed as a problem. The important thing is how such arguments are handled. Here are a few rules that will help you to deal with arguments in a positive way.
5. Keep your arguments private, between you and your partner only. Avoid having arguments in front of family members or friends.
6. Never go to bed angry. Settle every argument before going to sleep if at all possible. Stay up late if necessary. It is best to get things settled and not let them fester for days.
7. Do not allow arguments to escalate into shouting matches and name-calling. Even if you are in complete privacy, keep the tone natural and as friendly as possible. Consider who you are talking to and avoid any shouting or unpleasantness.

KEYS TO SUCCESS

1. Be a friend. The foundation of a good relationship is a solid friendship. A successful relationship has to be founded on the qualities found in a friendship – trust, respect, a desire to spend time with each other, and the ability to lean on each other.
2. Know your partner’s needs. Once you know what they are, work every day to meet them. Each day when you wake up, think of something you can do to make your partner’s day better, even if it’s just making his favorite meal or doing a load of laundry so she doesn’t have to.
3. Take responsibility for yourself. Don’t focus on what your partner has to work on to be better, look inward and figure out what you can do to make the relationship better.
4. Find the positives in your partner. If you remind yourself of all of the good qualities he has, it will be easier to get past the bad times when his less than good qualities are showing through.
5. Forgive. In order to move forward, you have to let the past go. It doesn’t mean you have to forget, but forgive your partner so that you can move forward.
6. Get away from your partner. Spend plenty of quality time together, but remember to allow each other to have ample time alone. Even though you are a unit, and you will want to spend time together enjoying your favorite activities, or just sit together and relax at home, each of you is still a separate individual with certain likes and dislikes. You both need time alone to enjoy hobbies that you might enjoy, but your partner doesn’t. Don’t think that because you are married, that you are joined at the hip and cannot do anything on your own. You both need equal time alone to think and organize your own thoughts or simply to wind down.
7. Evaluate personal traits. Evaluate a potential partner as you would a friend; look at their character, personality, values, their generosity of spirit, the relationship between their words and actions, their relationships with others.
8. Respect, respect, respect. Inside and outside the relationship, act in ways so that your partner always maintains respect for you. Mutual respect is essential to a good relationship.
9. Teamwork. View yourselves as a team, which means you are two unique individuals bringing different perspectives and strengths. That is the value of a team–your differences.
10. Don’t Assume. If you don’t understand or like something your partner is doing, ask about it and why he or she is doing it. Talk and explore, don’t assume.
11. Solve problems as they arise. Don’t let resentments simmer. Most of what goes wrong in relationships can be traced to hurt feelings, leading partners to erect defenses against one another and to become strangers, or enemies.
12. Learn to negotiate. Modern relationships no longer rely on roles cast by the culture. Couples create their own roles, so that virtually every act requires negotiation. It works best when good will prevails. Because people’s needs are fluid and change over time, and life’s demands change too, good relationships are negotiated and renegotiated all the time. Don’t judge. Listen, truly listen, to your partner’s concerns and complaints without judgment. Much of the time, just having someone listen is all we need for solving problems. Plus it opens the door to confiding. And empathy is crucial. Look at things from your partner’s perspective as well as your own.
13. Don’t judge Listen, truly listen, to your partner’s concerns and complaints without judgment. Much of the time, just having someone listen is all we need for solving problems. Plus it opens the door to confiding. And empathy is crucial. Look at things from your partner’s perspective as well as your own.
14. Try something (someone) different. If you have not had success finding someone special, then perhaps consider going on a date with someone who you think is not your type. Sometimes opposites attract, with differences complementing eachother.
15. Laugh. Successful relationships develop the ability to take a light approach to conflicts. Recognizing that arguments are inevitable and normal versus catastrophic is helpful. One way to do this is to practice taking a step back when involved in a dispute. See if you can view your contribution to the situation with a sense of humor. Perhaps you can even laugh at yourself. You will also be more open and responsive to your partner’s feelings. This approach can help couples that are struggling as well as strengthen healthy relationships.
16. Accept yourself. A large part of how we view other people is based on how that person presents him or herself. If you view yourself as sexy, and act that way, then others will perceive you as sexy. Truly look at and appreciate your own body. Sure, it has faults, just like every body does. Accept the faults, and accept yourself as a work in progress, and flaunt what you have. You´ll find that people react positively to your positive self image.
17. Encourage growth. Two individuals in a couple are indivduals, and each person grows at a different rate and in different directions. You want to encourage each other to grow, appreciate how your growth helps you both become better people, and your relationship better because of it.
18. Body language speaks volumes. Be aware of body language, both good and bad. Eighty percent of communication is nonverbal. Body language can be flirty and fun, but by the same token it can show frustration and annoyance, which can be counter-productive when trying to work through a problem.

FINANCES

1. All business. Approach family finances as if you were running a business. Create a budget, track spending, save money where possible and don’t bend the rules whenever it feels convenient.
2. Talk about it. Discuss finances when there is no emergency. If you talk about it regularly and when there is nothing to argue about, then you will be better prepared when there is a crisis or misunderstanding.
3. One for us, one of you and one for me. Set up one joint account and two separate spending accounts. Men and women spend differently. Instead of having one person who oversees all spending, and will likely not agree with the partner’s spending, have one joint account to pay bills from, and then two individual spending accounts. You will have to decide together how much should go into the individual spending accounts, but there should be less arguing over eachother’s spending.
4. Handle debt as a couple. Make a plan to pay off existing debt. Drawing a line in the sand and saying that your spouse’s debt isn’t your problem is not going to work because even if the debt existed before you married, your credit rating can be negatively impacted as well as the bottom line of how much money the two of you are paying monthly in interest charges.
5. Make a fitness date. If the couple that plays together stays together, turn play time into an exercise routine that raises your endorphins and makes you both feel good about yourselves and each other. If the gym doesn’t work, try biking, rock climbing or just walking.

ROMANCE

1. Love notes are under rated. And today you can use technology, leave a voicemail or send a txt message to say “I love you” just because.
2. Avoid calendar conflict. Place a “community” calendar in a public place (the refridgerator) to help avoid conflicts and miscommunications. It helps to have individual calendars, but for anything that will affect both schedules, make sure it goes on the community calendar so it can be checked often.
3. Get energized. Find a new hobby (that you can do together), plan a vacation, do something you’ve never done before like go skydiving or take a wine tasting tour. Spice up the relationship by adding some energy and excitement.
4. Read. Form a book club of two. If you really, absolutely, truly don’t have time to read, then make time. Okay, okay, you could both pick a TV show to watch together. But keep in mind, a book provides the use of imagination, and therefore allows for a lively discussion of your individual thoughts, whereas a TV show is usually pretty transparent.
5. Make a fitness date. If the couple that plays together stays together, turn play time into an exercise routine that raises your endorphins and makes you both feel good about yourselves and each other. If the gym doesn’t work, try biking, rock climbing or just walking.
6. Start a new project Approaching a procrastination-inducing task together makes it less intimidating, plus you can divide and conquer. And think about it: Making decisions and compromises about a more neutral situation–such as, what color to paint the living room–is great couples therapy practice for when the more serious judgment calls need to be made.
7. Get out of here already. It sounds obvious, but many people find it hard to get away for a weekend. Go online, book some inexpensive last minute travel, and drop everything else to go enjoy some time together.
8. Make a love list. Ask your partner to write down what makes him/her feel loved and special. Do the same for yourself. Exchange lists. Then, every day, no matter how you feel about him or her, do one loving/caring behavior for your partner!

IN THE BEDROOM

1. Redecorate the Bedroom. Spice up your sex life by making some changes at home. Transform your bedroom into something new. Get rid of the piles of laundry, the kid’s toys on the floor, the pile of magazines on the nightstand and add some dim lights, candles, and sexy scents. Make it a place for romance and relaxation.
2. Slow down. The fastest, most efficient route is definitely not what you want in the bedroom. Focusing on the destination — and only the obvious parts of the anatomy — is the worst thing you can do. Make sex leisurely and playful, with no definite direction. Explore and take your time, try something new, make it a whole body experience.
3. Take a sexual inventory. Write suggested sexual activities on two sheets of paper, then each of you rates them from hot (would love to try) to warm, lukewarm and cold. Add your own, but choose from things like spanking, role-playing, semipublic sex, tie-up games, blindfolding, talking dirty, anal sex and watching or making erotic films. When you’re done, make note of the activities that scored high(-ish) for both of you. Try one every two weeks or once a month.
4. Don’t focus on imperfections. If your body is imperfect, don’t let it get in the way of enjoying your sexuality and expressing your desire for your partner. If you find it hard to let go of anxious thoughts about your flaws, you may want to try a few sessions of therapy to work on this issue.
5. The most sensitive sex organ: the brain. Sexual stimulation starts with sensory inputs that trigger mental associations. Only then do the other parts of the body get involved. For each person, the sensory inputs that trigger this reaction are different. Seeing an attractive person, feeling loved, hearing a whispered word, experiencing a certain kind of touch, all can set off the human libido.
6. Sex and intimacy are intertwined. Many people have trouble feeling sexually interested in someone until they have had time to know one another, learning to trust through words, actions, and nonverbal communication such as facial expressions and body language.
7. Make a sex date box. Get together with your lover and each of you jot down a steamy date idea on a piece of paper and agree that each time you go on a hot steamy date, you’ll pick a card from your special sex date box.
8. Make eye contact. The eyes are a powerful part of our body language cues and can express everything from sexual interest, to annoyance, to happiness and pain.
9. Get busy in the kitchen. Make cooking a team sport. Plan and prepare a gourmet meal together.
10. Buy some toys. Sometimes sex can become regular and boring. Explore something new to rev up a mundane bedroom experience. Add some spice by going together to a sex toy store and buy something you might both enjoy.
11. Get all dolled up. Schedule a night out somewhere that requires you to get all dressed up, whether it’s a black tie fundraiser or an evening out at a 5-star restaurant followed by the Opera. Looking good often equates to feeling good.
12. Do some housework. Do a chore that your partner is typically responsible for. Fill up a gas tank, mow the lawn, fold the laundry – surprise your partner by taking one job off his/her plate for the week.
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A Little Too Hot!

'Deadly Deceptions' by Linda Lael Miller. The second installment in LLM's series is even better than the first book was. I love the paranormal elements and can't wait to find out how things go when Mojo begins to work with her new partner. I am literally salivating for the next one. With two Mojo mysteries so far, Linda Lael Miller appears to have a hit series for fans to appreciate. 'Handyman' by Jodi Lynn Copeland. These are three heated erotic contemporary romances in which the female protagonist are fully developed and quite different in what they need, but the same with what they desire. The men who enter their lives are hunks who happen to be friends; that link each of the stories. Their camaraderie adds depth to them especially their feelings towards the respective lead woman in their life. Fans will appreciate these ultra thermal tales starring strong fully developed characters. Use the Coupon Code below to receive a Discount on one or both of these eBook Titles.

Deadly Deceptions eBook edition by Miller, Linda Lael Mojo is trying to enjoy her posh new home, but she'd rather be back living over Bad-Ass Bert's Biker Saloon, where life was simpler. Her sexy cop boyfriend can't let go of his past, while her wealthy sister is being blackmailed for secrets in hers. And Mojo's smack in the middle of it all. › More Info Handyman eBook edition by Copeland, Jodi Lynn He's every woman's secret fantasy.the handyman who can service her every need and bring her to ultimate sexual satisfaction. COMING IN FIRST Lissa Malone loves bad boys, but slam bam thank you ma'am is leaving her body thirsting for much, much more. She's ready for the proverbial Mr. Nice Guy, someone who will lay her down, tease and touch her to the nth degree, and give her pleasure she'd only imagined-hoped-was possible. › More Info

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It's All About HOT, SEX, Coming True For YOU In READING

Attention to Readers: This Blog was written by Maverick Majors one of my eBooks About Crew! Enjoy… 'A Passion For Him' by Sylvia Day. Once again, Sylvia Day gives readers a book that encompasses all the passion, intrigue and endearing characters that we have come to expect in her storylines. I could not help but feel an immediate attachment to Collin and Amelia and had my fingers crossed for a happily-ever-after for them. At the same time I really felt bad for the Earl of Ware. I loved getting the chance to revisit characters from ASK FOR IT and PASSION FOR THE GAME. A Passion for Him shows that Sylvia is historical romance's true shining star! I'm a sucker for the Straight Romance as the GLBT stuff. I'm just a sexual reader I guess!!!? 'Capital Games' by G.A. Hauser. Steve and Mark are very intensive characters: they fight, they fuck, they love and they cry, but I have never had of them a feminine perception, they are all male and very sexy. Steve is in love and Steve has no problem to say it aloud; Steve lusts for Mark and Steve has Mark where he wants and when he wants. Mark is in love with Steve, but he is not the perfect man who can, without second thoughts, drop everything and embrace his new "gay" future. Capital Games is a novel who has aroused and satisfied me. Use the Coupon Code Below to receive a Discount on either of these two eBook Titles.

A Passion For Him eBook edition by Day, Sylvia Miss Amelia Benbridge is ready to leave behind a past filled with heartbreak for a sensible marriage. Until temptation itself comes calling, with an invitation to seduction. SHE LOVED AND LOST HIM ONCE. › More Info Capital Games eBook edition by Hauser, G.A. Let the games begin. Former Los Angeles Police officer Steve Miller has gone from walking a beat in the City of Angels to joining the rat race as an advertising executive. He knows how cut-throat the industry can be, so when his boss tells him that he's in direct competition with a newcomer from across the pond for a coveted account he's not surprised.then he meets Mark Richfield. › More Info

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It's Not All Fun And Games, Just FUN

'It's How You Play the Game' by Willa Okati. The Name of the Game, it is the story of Anthony, Clay's friend. Anthony is the gayest man ever. He is all you can think would be a gay man, fashion man, light heart and good friend. Willa's writing style is like a breath of fresh air: carefree and fun. This is a delightful tale of "Never say Never." Anthony's a fun quirky character and watching him fall apart and fall in love was hilarious. 'Skin on Skin' by Jami Alden, Valerie Martinez, Sunny. Purchased this kind of by accident. Unusual that I would like more than one story in an anthology (so I avoid them), but two of the three here were actually very good. The book warning "This is a REALLY HOT book, sexually explicit" is true...have fun with this one! Use the Coupon Code below for a Discount on either of these two eBook Titles, or Both!

It's How You Play the Game eBook edition by Okati, Willa In this follow up to The Name of the Game, Seth and Clay's friend Anthony decides to cater his happy friends' wedding. Problem is, he can't cook, so he signs on to take lessons, willing to do whatever it takes to help out. › More Info Skin on Skin eBook edition by Alden, Jami,, Sunny, ,, Martinez, Valerie, "China Doll by Sunny -- When Rand and Anna meet in the lush heat of an Indonesian hotel, it's strictly one night only for two strangers looking to banish the ghosts in their pasts. But more than their skin is bared when they come together in the tropical heat, and before long they're aching for more. Tempted by Jami Alden -- Friends as well as coworkers, Lauren and Tony have maintained a strict hands-off policy with each other--until an out-of-town party gives them an excuse to share a hotel room. And when they do, their clothes come off--and the new rule is definitely hands on. Hot Wired by Valerie Martinez -- Spending a summer in San Francisco before starting her career, Lola is looking for fun. And when she meets the driver of a fire-engine red pickup--a guy with plenty of muscle › More Info

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There Is love And Then There is LOVE

'Rumi: The Book of Love' by Coleman Barks. How can I put into words the absolute wordless dimension this collection of poems creates within me? The commentaries and introduction sections by Coleman Barks are valuable as well beyond words. The reader would gain insights simply by picking it up and thumbing to any page and just read, read! This collection of Rumi's poetry moved me like none of his other work. 'The Fortune Hunter' by Jasmine Haynes. Ms. Haynes' book The Fortune Hunter is a vividly erotic romance well worth reading. It was addictive as well as an absolute joy to read. The storyline was heart warming and boy oh boy it was Sizzling! Ms. Haynes has done it again, a fabulous book that you must read. It is so hot that it should come with a WARNING label! Below there is a Coupon Code, use it at checkout to receive a Discount on either of these eBook Titles.

Rumi: The Book of Love eBook edition by Barks, Coleman Now in paperback, this is the definitive collection of America's bestselling poet Rumi's finest poems of love and lovers. In Coleman Barks' delightful and wise renderings, these poems will open your heart and soul to the lover inside and out. › More Info The Fortune Hunter eBook edition by Haynes, Jasmine The author of Open Invitation delivers another bold and sexy novel. Faith Castle's dreams of having a baby are close to coming true-despite the less-than-romantic proposal, Connor Kingston is as honest as they come, and this marriage of convenience will give her exactly what she wants. Her one caveat, that he be faithful, may send her randy fiance running for the hills-or help Faith learn a new, sexy side of herself that she never knew. › More Info

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Down And Dirty or Love And Lust

Note to Readers. This Blog piece was written by Maverick Majors one of my eBooks About Crew! 'Hornito' by Mike Albo. Although this eBook opens in the present, the story flashes back to childhood memories. At first, I was not interested in reading these flashbacks, as they distracted me from the main story. I wanted to identify with the main character as an adult and see how he resolves his problems. Particularly the problem of forming a real connection with someone in an urban, every-man-for-himself, artificial, market-segment of a world. Once I got into the book a bit, the childhood and teenage memories seemed more relevant, not to mention painful and at times, embarrassingly familiar. I found myself laughing aloud many times. 'Private Party' by Jami Alden. I have not read a sexy eBook in so long..Well, of this genre. I definitely picked the right one! I was expecting some romance and hot sex and I got it plus all the scandal. It is one of the best books I've read. The sex scenes are so good you can't wait until the next encounter. I can't wait to buy another book from this author.

Hornito eBook edition by Albo, Mike Juxtaposing a trip to his childhood home -- where he has retreated to try to make some sense of his hectic existence in New York City -- with memories of growing up gay in seventies suburbia, Albo creates "Mike Albo." This character's memories are from a fictitious life that's outrageous, hilarious, and embarrassingly real. From a typical suburban childhood to his perpetual search for true love, Albo evokes a poignant, nostalgic past and a vibrant, energetic present. By turns vulnerable and jaded, flamboyant and obsessive, Hornito is full of subversive humor and outrageous irony. › More Info Private Party eBook edition by Alden, Jami TURN UP THE HEAT Finding her brand-new husband in flagrante delicto with another woman wasn't part of Julie Driscoll's plan for her lavish wedding reception. Now she's a bride without a groom-but she's determined to have a wedding night with someone. Her cheating husband's gorgeous brother will do just fine. Chris Dennison is everything his brother isn't, and his hard body is the stuff the steamiest sexual fantasies are made of. › More Info

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